Thoughts written down.

I'm just going out a limb here, and I'm going to guess that this post is going to be really pointless. I feel like writing, but I don't have any stories to tell. I'm listening to "Just give me a reason" by Pink. One thing that has been driving me crazy lately is the words 'in love'. They're really strong words. You can't be in love with someone, you've only seen a few times. That's a crush. It's not love. You can like someone a lot, but love is different, isn't it? Love is bigger. I have never been in love, but there's more to relationships that loving eachother. I guess I can't talk, what do I know of this?...

I'm having mood swings about going home. I can't wait starting working, then I'll have extra money. I hate being on a set finance this year. I can't work here in Italy, so I only have the money that I earned from last summer. It'll be nice to relax about using my money a little bit. A few months ago, I had the idea that I'd go to South America next summer, but that idea has changed. I hope to return to Italy, and improve my Italian more. I feel sloppy only learning a language halfway. I can speak easily now. But I'm not fluent. I don't know all the words. I just know enough words to easily make myself understandable. I have trouble switching languages, and I have trouble remembering who speaks what language. A few weeks ago my grandma and two of my great aunts came to visit me. There was many times when I went in to them and started saying something in Italian to them, then remembered they wouldn't understand me.

My time with my relatives was really fun and relaxing! We saw all of my town, and went shopping. I drink coffee now, but I drink it strong like the Italians. I drank too much though when I was with them, and I started shaking. I think I scared them a little bit. Sorry Grandma. ;) I've spent way too much money in the last few weeks. I'm only here for another month though, so I should just relax and not worry.

The other thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is success. I think about this always, but right now more than normally. When people sit and wait for their life to start, it bothers me. When I see peoples' parents paying for their things when they are grown up, I wonder. If you want something with your life, you have to get off your butt and get it yourself. Would I be in Italy if I had sat on the couch all summer? No, I went and applied for a job, I worked all summer to earn the money to come here. It wasn't easy, but it was possible. A lot of people tell me I am so lucky, I am really lucky, but not for the reasons people think. I am lucky because I have an amazing family, and great friends, and a God who helps and takes care of me. I wasn't lucky to be able to come to Italy, I worked for it, and this is my reward for what I worked hard for. Many things are possible, but you have to be willing to try for them.

I can't use the spellcheck on this computer because it's in Italian, so I'm sorry if I messed up on anything. I hope everything I wrote is understandable. :)